Kibbitz

I don't actually have anything to say today...I just felt like we needed a new post on our blog...so I decided to go back through some of Andrea's old e-mails and share the quotes she's sent us throught out the school year.

Kevonte: Ms. Novelly, guess what I had to do yesterday?
Me: What's that Kevonte?
Kevonte: CHORES!!!

Brandon: Ms. Novelly, can I get on the computers?
Me: No Brandon, go sit down.
Brandon: MS. NOVELLY!!!! YOU ARE PREVENTING ME FROM LEARNING!!!

Ty'Nisha: When I get older I am going to get a gold tooth (points to her fronttooth) with a "T" on it.

Dimonte: I like white people Ms. Novelly. Can I be your son?

Kevonte: Ms. Novelly! You forgot the BIG DAY! (Referring to his birthday, Ihad only seen him for approximately 10 seconds)

Darius: I love you Ms. Novelly (he tells me this about 50 times a day, such a sweetie). I can come and stay with you on the weekends?

Next week I have to video myself teaching a lesson for my certification class.
Ty'Nisha: Ooo Ms. Novelly I am going to have my mama do my hair all pretty andI am going to wear earrings!

Me: And why would you need to put a saddle on a horse before you ride it?
Robin: So your pants don't get dirty.
Tyrone: Ooo and so that your pants don't get stanky Ms. Novelly.

Jason: My pinky finger really hurts. Can you just cut it off Ms. Novelly?

This quote isn't funny.
Akiva (looking sad): I tried to do my homework last night but no one would helpme.
Me: Why not?
Akiva: We had a crawfish boil and a bbq and I kept asking all of the peoplethere but no one would help me.

Terence (reading a story about a rabbit who finds a large cabbage but can't getit to fit into his house)"I must stop crying" said Roger. "Crying never helpsanything." Terence stops reading, looks at me and says, "Well that's not trueMs. Novelly. Crying helps when I am gettin' a whoppin'.

Darius: How do they make hands?
Me: They?
Darius (staring at his palm): God. How does God make hands?

Sebastian (after 3 straight days of a substitute): I am glad you're back Ms.Novelly.

Terence: You know Ms. Novelly, dinosaurs are still alive…in heaven.

Ty'Nisha: I ain't never going to have a baby. My mama said that babies causepain in your stomach. AND she has stretch marks.
Destinee: My mama has stretch marks too!

The children saw a picture of me with long hair when I was in 4th grade.
Brandon: Ms. Novelly, why did you cut your hair? You could have put some braids or something up in there.
Destinee: Ms. Novelly, why did you cut your hair?
Me: I just didn't like to have long hair.
Destinee: Oh so you just couldn't manage it?
Ty'Nisha: Ooo Ms. Novelly you look the same!!! Same nose. Same lips. You were pretty Ms. Novelly.

Destinee (walks in with new hair extensions): Look Ms. Novelly! Savannah and I got new hair last night!

Ty'Nisha: I like it when you smile Ms. Novelly.

Me (looking at Dionte's drawing): Dionte, is that a guinea pig?
Dionte: Yes. Um no actually. It's an armadillo.

My kids were cutting pictures out of magazines.
Joseph: Look Ms. Novelly (holding up a woman in a wedding dress), she's SEXY!
Me: Joseph! You are in in second grade. Never use that word in my room everagain!
Anthony (was not medicated for 3 days this week...kill me):OooooooooooooooooooooJoseph! You can't be with no older lady!

Terence: Yesterday was the BEST day of my life Ms. Novelly! (Terence actually brought home an A+ in conduct)
Me: Akiva spell 'one'.
Akiva: One? Like one pot of gumbo?

Darius: Ms. Novelly, these are for you (hands me a HUGE bag of Mardi Grasbeads).

Tyrone: Ms. Novelly, I can write my Valentine to your mama and then you can sendit to her for me? Don't tell anyone in the class though.

Tyrone comes in with ridiculously chapped lips.
Me: Tyrone, what happened to your lips?
Tyrone: It was the crawfish Ms. Novelly! They were soooo hot they burned my lips!

Anthony (commenting on the brown hard boiled egg sitting on my desk):OOOOoooooooooooo Ms. Novelly! Where did you get that golden egg?!?!?!?!?!?

Terence (to one of my student's who told a lie--there are so many I can'tremember who he was talking to): If you don't tell the truth you aren't going to be up with the God, you are going to be down with the devil.

Mr. Morgan (my principal): Ms. Novel-LY, how have you found yourself acclimatingto Louisiana?
Me: Well sir, it has been an adjustment.
Mr. Morgan: Yes, yes. This is a festival time in Louisiana with Mardi Gras coming up. Things in Baton Rouge are quite tame in comparison to New Orleans. Do you enjoy our cuisine?
Me: Oh very much so.
Mr. Morgan: Have you found yourself a suitable domicile?
Me (WHAT?!?!): Yes, my roommate and I have a great house.
Mr. Morgan: So Ms. Novel-LY, do you have a gentleman friend that you keep company with?

Brandon: My worst day was when I was on a roller coaster and I felt like I was going to throw up. But I was at the top and they said I had to wait until Igot to the bottom. So I had to turn my head and throw up. And do you knowwhere it landed?
Me: No. Where did it land?
Brandon: On somebody's head!
Kevonte: That sounds like it was yours and someone else's worst day.

Me: Dimonte, who is in that picture with you?
[referring to his drawing]Dimonte: My lady.

Writing assignment--"If I had $100 I would buy..."
Me: Kevonte, you would buy Chicken Selects?
Kevonte: Ms. Novelly! Have you had Chicken Selects? They are SO GOOD![Chicken Selects are McDonald's new nuggets]

Ty'Nisha: "How I get on D?!?!?!"
(As though I just picked a letter of thealphabet and there is no basis for my behavior system)I calmly said "You know why you got a D today Ty'Nisha".
Ty'Nisha: "You get on my nerves".
Me: "Your behavior gets on my nerves and now I am writing you up."

Tow Truck Driver (picking up the roommie and I after the roommie got not one,but two flat tires): So where do you ladies go to church?
Me: Uh, um, um.
Brooke: We haven't found a church yet.
Tow Truck Driver: WHAT?! Are you two athetists or something? It seems to me that you both could use a little Jesus in your life.
Kevonte: Ms. Novelly, you married?

Me: No Kevonte, I'm not married. Are you married?
Kevonte: Nooooooo. I am a little child.

Tyrone: (singing, then stops) I'm singing my wedding song Ms. Novelly.WHAT?!?!

Me: Brandon (my smartest student), read your answer here on this test.
Brandon: Ty'Nisha have a green sweater.
Me: Brandon, does that make sense?
Brandon: Um, to black people.
NO LIE THE 7 YEAR OLD CHILD ACTUALLY SAID THAT TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ty'Nisha (total drama queen): Uh, Miss Novelly, uh I just wanted to uh tell youthat I am sorry down in my heart for being bad. I will be good today.
A few days later...Ty'Nisha (wailing in the coat closet): Miss Novelly (sob sob) doesn't care about (sob sob) me!!!!!!!!!!!

!Me: For example, you may want an X-Box for Christmas, but what you really need is a new pair of shoes. So let's say that Miss Novelly needs...
Terence (interrupting): A good class!!!

Several students yelling at me: Miss Novelly!!!! Dimonte has a picture of a nasty girl in his desk!!!I then confiscate a small photo of a TOPLESS blonde woman. Sigh. What grade toteach again? Oh right, second.

Me (in reading group doing "word work" on dry erase boards): Okay now take the word "cart" that you just wrote down and change it to "cash".
All of my students: What? Change it to what? What did you say Miss Novelly?
Eric: OH! Cash, like cash money.

Mr. Williams (janitor): Now you see Miss Novelly you teach in the hood. This ist he hood.

Me (after I pulled Terence aside for acting up...again): Terence, you know what makes me so upset. The fact that my mom came down to visit and you know what she told me Terence? She told me that she thought you were so smart and helpful and that you were a great leader. [That part is true] You know what else she told me Terence? She told me that she thought that you could be the next President of the United States. PRESIDENT! Do you think that you can become president by acting like this in my classroom? So now when my mom calls and asks how you are doing I have to tell her how you behave in my room and she is SHOCKED to hear this. Shocked Terence. [That part is complete bs. I have no idea where I came up with that one. TFA will warp your brain and you'll do and say all kinds of crazy things.] Terence has not been as much of a problem as he normally is since this conversation.

Akiva (as he put on his new fleece and winter hat): Miss Novelly, you bought this for me?!?!?! Miss Novelly, I can wear my hat all day in school?
Me: Akiva, it is so hot in this classroom!
Akiva: Oh Miss Novelly I want to wear it! Puh-leez!!!!!!!!!!

Me: Does anyone know what is happening next Tuesday? It only happens once every four years.
Joseph: Report cards?
Brandon: The presidents change!
Sebastian: Um, the election?
Me: Raise your hand if you know one person that is running for president.
Brandon: George Bush. He started a war.
Kyle (chiming in): He's a bad president!
Me: Now who can name the man running against George Bush?
Kyle: John Kerry, he's my man (does some kind of fist pump, homeboy gesture), but I wish that Bill Clinton could be president again.

Brandon: John Kerry could save the people over there [over there being Iraq) and he could stop the war...if people would just elect him.
Kyle (again): George Bush is a bad president.

Kyle: Ms. Novelly, how do you draw a jheri curl?
Me: Uh, I don't know Kyle, how do you think you would draw one?
Kyle: I seen one before. Michael Jackson used to have one.

Me: Kevonte, you got a B in a conduct today.
Kevonte (hangs his head): Ms. Novelly, MY STREAK! My streak of A's is OVER!

My mom comes to visit the class...Terence: Ms. Novelly, is that your sister?

Destinee: Ms. Novelly how old are you?
Me: Destinee, how old is your mom?Destinee: 24.

Me: Kevonte can I see your homework?(Kevonte takes out homework)
Me: Thank you.
Kevonte: Anything to make the teacher happy.